On procrastination and parenting

Photo by get directly down at flickr.com

Today I went to the dentist. It has been a long time between visits. So long in fact that I couldn’t even admit to myself how long it had been for fear of unleashing an unhealthy amount of self-recrimination that would only add to the procrastination and fear that’s prevented me from going all these years.

So bullet bitten here I am, teeth shiny and clean and save for a light lecture on the importance of dental hygiene, there was nothing to fear afterall. No fillings. No wisdom teeth needing immediate removal. No extra large bill. Just a ‘look after your teeth and come back in six months’. They even gave me a goody bag.

It has me thinking about how procrastination only makes things alot harder. Things that are routine and necessary become scary monsters that wake you in the middle of the night. One big ‘to do list’ that just keeps on growing. Continue reading

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Reconnecting with B

I am starting to see how motherhood can be a series of small goodbyes. Saying farewell to different stages, only to welcome new ones as our babies gradually move towards independence.Question mark girl

A few weeks ago J started daycare two days a week. I am not due back at work for another two months so the plan has been to gradually ease him into a full day over the next few weeks.

The first day felt like a leap into the great unknown. Even though I’d visited the centre a few times and had met his caregivers, I was still nervous and didn’t know what to expect. Would he sleep there? Would he take his bottle? Would he be happy to interact with his caregivers? but with all the questions in my mind focused on ‘will he be okay’, I really didn’t stop to ask myself if I’d be okay.

Continue reading