And you call yourself a blogger? Sucking at selfies

This is the first of a series I am calling ‘And you call yourself a blogger?’ where I explore the possible reasons for my disappointing foray into the world of blogging.

In a time when stats are king, shaking your money maker for brands is de jour and finding a large community of mutual back-scratching fans is mandatory, I officially suck on all counts. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not playing the ‘blogging high brow’ card here, all of these are admirable goals. I’d wack on ‘Baby got Back’ and booty shake down my street if I could improve any one of these things.

I’ve read all the ‘blogging how tos’ (and aren’t there alot of those!) and I know I can write, so why am I such a lack-lustre blogger? The answer lies in a number of key areas which I’ll explore in the coming weeks with most belonging in the category entitled ‘half-arsed’.

But this one is a bit different. I’ve been trying really hard at this one, but with practice comes more disappointment. I officially suck at selfies.

To be a good blogger, it appears you’ve got be good at the selfie. The self-portrait quickly captured on your iPhone to show an emotion, an outfit choice, a victory, a vulnerability or your latest makeup experimentation.

And I suck at them. Every damn selfie I’ve taken has me with a wrinkled Luke Perry forehead, a minature chin jowl and an expression that I like to call ‘crazy eyed killa’.

When I think to randomly take a selfie, I am almost always sans makeup, wearing a top with baby spew on it with hair that resembles a deserted birds nest. And there aint no filter to gloss over all those selfie atrocities.

And all the while, my instagram feed and Google Reader fill up with knock-out selfies of other bloggers all more successful than me and it gets me thinking … it’s the selfie, it’s got to be the selfie. And I shake my fist with mock-rage and try just one more time.

And there you have it folks. These ones come with added blur, ‘not quite ready face’ and saggy arm pit (which thankfully has been cropped out). You’re welcome!

So what’s your secret to the perfect selfie? I need help people. A lot of help!

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11 thoughts on “And you call yourself a blogger? Sucking at selfies

  1. I love your blogs! I always feel that I can relate to them at different times and periods of my life. I find myself chuckling at different things, and think – ‘thats so true!’

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  2. Never ever lean back in selfie, if you do, nothing but chins.
    And hold your camera upside down.

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  3. I don’t do selfies. Cause I always look like someone has punched me in the face.

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  4. My selfies are never attractive. At least I can add in a filter on Instagram, which helps. Apparently you can get an app for the iPhone which puts a timer on your camera, so you can take photos of yourself without using the flipped-around camera … if I work it out, I’ll keep you posted. Just found you on IG so I can stalk you and your selfies now 😉

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  5. Pingback: And you call yourself a blogger? Lacking consistency

  6. No idea how to do a good selfies photo – hence there is not many photos of me! But gee I can take LOTS of photos of my boys 😉
    Maybe have a makeover photo? Now that’s an idea….might have to look at one of those photo companies who gives one a make over before taking the photo – is that ok to use online?

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    • Just got a few professional photos taken today! Much better for the self esteem than the selfies. I also get a bit snap happy of my boys, I’ve just had to delete photos off my phone as it’s too full up of boy photos!

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