The first 10 weeks, second time round

Ah, my little blog home I’ve been neglecting you lately. Usually I’d feel guilt over such neglect, but there is no time for guilt trips when you’ve got a newborn to snuggle and a toddler to keep up with.

My baby boy is now 10 weeks old, this time whizzing by like a blink of a heavy-lidded eye. He is doing so well and so am I, which I’ve decided is just as important. I’ve been going easier on myself, this time around. Taking time out when I need it, checking in with any anxious feelings to find out what was causing them and turning any negative chatter around with positive self-talk.

It hasn’t been as zen as all that though. I’ve struggled with balancing the needs of both my boys – diffusing toddler tanties, while trying to soothe a catnapping newborn. Leaving the house has been an exercise in patience, with J boy now refusing to get in a pram and insisting on walking, which would be fine if he didn’t decide he was tired and start lying down on footpaths.

I’ve become hysterical in public, hiding fat hot tears behind sunglasses. I’ve felt tied down by endless breastfeeding and endless piles of washing and household chores. I’ve assumed the foetal position when the disorganisation of our house while it’s getting painted became too much.

However, I’ve also stared in wonder at both my boys growing so quickly. My big boy covering his little brother in kisses, my baby boy smiling at me for the first time, quiet feeds in the dead of night while lamp light illuminates downy hair. Moments like these are so fleeting and it’s lovely to enjoy them this time around.

My baby boy slept for a full 10 hours straight last night, a moment which filled me with relief and awe (so much sleep!) but also a little flutter of something else. A feeling that this little boy of mine is growing too quickly, that my last baby will not be a baby for long. So I hold on to him tight in the daytime hours, soaking him up while I still can and push any nagging negativity, anxiety, guilt or impatience aside.

One day soon these moments will be little snippets of memories, so I’ll hold him while I can.

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6 thoughts on “The first 10 weeks, second time round

  1. Time flies so quickly. It’s tough having 2 little one, but sounds like you’re doing a wonderful job. Take care 🙂

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  2. OMG I hear you sweetie loud and clear – I’m having the exact same experience over here. Especially the whole battling toddler vs baby – argh!! Has missed your blogs and can’t wait to catch up x

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  3. Hi Bel. I read a great quote once… something along the lines of “our children do not belong to us… they belong to themselves… we are simply privileged with being their carers for a time”. I think of it often and your post reminded me of it this morning. My “baby” is now a toddler and my “toddler” is now a big 4-year old at kindy… and I know that in the blink of an eye my kindy boy will be heading into high school (rather than prep). So, I too try to grab those mental images and just enjoy each second we find ourselves in… and remember to be grateful for the most precious gift that is the privilege of caring for our babies. :’-) happy tears!

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  4. Gosh where did the time go? I remember checking on your blog to hear about his birth! And now he is 10 weeks old.

    How amazing that he slept through the night for so long 🙂

    Its so good that you are being kinder to yourself, and soaking up both your toddler and baby – they sure do grow too fast. Our first baby is now 18 years old and our youngest baby turned 7 the other day. Time sure flys 🙂

    Take care – and give extra hugs…they are so cute when they are little!

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  5. I think it helps to start blogging for yoersulf. I let my topics come out as my day dictated. If it was a homeschooling-filled day of fodder, I wrote about that. If something happened with yoga, or I was feeling especially attached to what it gives me that day, I write on that. People will come as they are attracted to the topic being spoken of. But, a great side benefit of the blog for me has been a personal journal capability. At the end of the year, or as I go along, I print it out and bind it and I have my thoughts and feelings and some of our day to day occurrings right there to remember and my grandchildren down the line to pick up and read . . .It’s all good. Write it, and they will come . . . LOL!-Cindy

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  6. Seriously?!!! What decade is this pesron living in? This is one of those moments that require a bottle of wine and a postmortem list of responses, such as: Do you think your allocation of time being a total SOB is going to interfere with your ability to carry out the duties of your elected position? Seeing as I guarantee I am currently operating on less sleep this week than you got last night, I question your intelligence for even asking that question. I have sleep deprivation as my excuse, what’s yours? The fact that you even asked that question causes me to question your ability to hold the position you are newly elected to. All in favor of a do-over, please raise your hand! Uggggghhhhh ..sorry. I’m glad you had it out- hopefully he learned his lesson and will be more respectful in the future. But crappy that you had to be the one to suffer

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