Life with a newborn is a reminder to slow down when life has a tendency to go too fast.
First time around I fought against the slow lane for too long, trying to cram in too much into those small windows of opportunity. Trying to do it all, keep all those balls in the air, while in alot of ways things seemed to crumble around me: my old life, my sense of self, my confidence.
What saved me then was realising that I didn’t have to do it all, that our ‘best days’ were the ones where I didn’t watch the clock and despair at how long I’d be feeding and how long he’d been sleeping. Those days, wading through the day responding to my baby, gave me confidence as a mother and made me happy.
Second time around, I’ve eased into the slow lane much quicker … despite the buzzing energy of my toddler boy requiring me to speed up at times.
I don’t watch the clock. I hold my baby without a nagging sense of guilt. I cuddle him close at night without a worry about creating any rods for my back. Yet, I know if he cries a little and I can’t attend to him straight away that this won’t harm him. He is resilient and so am I.
If he seems hungry, I feed him … even if it seems like I only just fed him. There is a rhythm and a pattern to our days, a pulse that beats through them with places to be and things to do but nothing is a strict routine and this works for us.
It’s such a pleasure just to enjoy him and my little family. Life is good in the slow lane … the fast lane will have to wait awhile.