It’s about time I gave myself a blog-based pep up. Eye of the tiger is blasting on my in-mind audio system …
You see, I’m one of these people that gives up a little too easily. Or moulds themselves to make others more comfortable, while I’m so twisted and bent out of shape that I find it hard to find my way back to my own path again.
I’ve been that way for as long as I can remember.
I played a lot of junior tennis when I was young – from the age of 8 to 12 – and I was pretty good. I won tournaments and trophies but if it came down to a battle of wills, I would lose everytime. My mother still says I never had the fight in me. She would be watching on the sidelines and could see the point when I would give up and pretty much let my opponent win.
This analogy has been playing on my mind lately. I still feel like that little girl on that tennis court, only this time I’m battling my own self-doubt.
There is alot of blog talk around the place about how to be a great blogger, how to get brands to notice you, how many hits a month a popular blog should get and I can feel that part of me that would give up all those years ago throwing its hands in the air and shouting ‘what’s the use!’.
The focus and determination of other bloggers, which helps keep me inspired and makes me proud also scares the absolute shit out of me. In ways I can’t quite explain. I wonder if my blog is worth it, whether I need to ‘try harder’ or if I’m completely missing the ball.
I’ve been in this funk for a few months and as a result feel like I’ve been neglecting this little space of mine. Shutting it out, shutting the people out that may be reading this and like what they read.
But just this week, I received a couple of lovely comments and surprise emails and it felt like the universe coaxing me back on the court. Whispering to me. Just. Keep. Going.
So here I am, I’ve picked up the racquet and am returning serve.
Feel free to let me know if you’re sitting there in the stands. xx