Blog posts are alot like songs, some are instant hits – catchy, with a hook that has you nodding your head in agreement and even murmuring along as you read – and some are slow burners, infiltrating your mind long after you’ve clicked the off button on your computer.
And sometimes a good one does both of these at once, allowing you an emotional release – to laugh, cry, question, get angry, forgive and hope – that stays with you for days. And that’s just the blogger.
What happens when you hit the publish button is anyone’s guess, you may inspire a similar release in others or you may just be hosting a pity party that has readers racing for the back button, leaving you with a sagging party hat and a party whistle lying limply at your lips.
It’s with these thoughts in mind that I think back to the blogging year that was and choose my favourite blog post I wrote in 2010, as part of the Nuffnang Christmas Blogger Challenge.
I started my blog in February, but it was a slow start. Like a fledgling musician I was searching for inspiration and coming up with derivative ideas and singing out of tune.
Nothing I wrote felt right.
By March I was four posts down, and then I stopped – I considered breaking up with myself, citing artistic differences.
One part of me wanted to write light and funny pieces exploring the external world of motherhood, delving into the myriad of contradictions while all the while reviewing a different baby friendly space each week.
But the other part of me – the real day to day me – was struggling with my own emotions. The ones I couldn’t give words to lest I sounded like I was having a pity party. The ones I was afraid to share with the world, lest I be shut down and told I had nothing to worry about. The ones that had me crying to myself at night, my sleeping baby boy in my arms.
And then come July, an epiphany of sorts. I realised it was those very emotions that were holding me back and stopping me from blogging. It was time to get them out. No one was reading my blog anyway, so what was I afraid of?
And then, one Friday night alone with a glass of Baileys I wrote this, my favourite blog post of the year and I cried, I dredged up all my anger and I set it free.
I forgot about trying to impress and just wrote it out and when I hit publish lightness descended, sending me to bed happy that I’d expressed everything I’d been holding onto for so many months.
And then the universe talked back – with hundreds of encouraging comments, coming from all corners of the world pushing me out of the darkness and further out into the light.
I have never again reached the dizzy heights of thousands of hits and hundreds of comments, and never will again.
But in writing that one post I suddenly found an authentic melody, a way of blogging that worked for me, and all of a sudden I was singing in tune with myself again.
And that’s its lasting gift – a little like a song that sticks in your head and makes you feel happy and less alone.