Happy birthday to my boy

Oh what a year it has been! A year ago I had just been through the most exhilarating, yet challenging experience: giving birth to my baby. When the midwife passed him through to me via my husband who proclaimed ‘it’s a boy’, I cried tears of relief, exhaustion, happiness and love.

It was a 33 hour journey to that point. Of labouring at home for a night and most of a day, of labouring in my birth centre room in water, on balls, in shower, while lunging, swaying, kneeling, squatting: every position under the sun. Of continual vomiting, when I thought there mustn’t be anything left. Of fleeting urges to push that disappeared, leaving me feeling like my baby would never arrive. That I would be pregnant forever. Of transferring up to the birth suites to get things sped up with a syntoxin drip and some much needed fluid. A decelerating heart beat and suspected distress, that had me put into a gown for theatre only for my baby to get the all clear just before they could wheel me off. Of finally feeling that real urge to push, and pushing for 1 hr 40 minutes to meet him. He was strong and muscular with a loud cry and a head of dark hair. It was instant. I was besotted. Continue reading

And so it begins

Here I am finally able to blog for the first time in more than a week. I feel like I have so much to say – all on divergent themes and topics, the things that have been rattling around in my head during the week that saw me nursing a sick and clingy boy, trying to juggle two busy days at work following disturbed sleep, spending time with my mum who was visiting and finally escaping the nest for two whole nights for a work trip to Townsville. My first two nights away from Jarvis since he arrived. There is a blog post there particularly. But it will have to wait as nostalgia takes precedence here tonight. To get there, we have to go back to the beginning.

The night that labour began. It was a stormy and rainy Monday, it felt just like tonight. The stretch and sweep of that afternoon did its job and the pain started in earnest. I would glance up at the clock each time it started. 10 minutes turned into 5 minutes in a matter of hours and I thought that maybe just maybe, I would meet my baby tonight. Tonight, one year ago. Continue reading

Fresh baked Friday

Another week passes, another trip down memory lane. This time a year ago, I was two days away from my due date.  I was experiencing all the mixed emotions that all first-time expectant mums go through. Excitement. Fear. Disbelief. Impatience. That ‘any day now’ feeling would accompany me to bed at night as I thought about whether tonight would be the night I would feel the first twinges of my baby starting to make his entrance into the world.

A lady in waiting. And it seemed so were all my family and friends. One friend in particular, my oldest and best friend, was awash with excitement and would come over every Friday of this waiting period, since I’d finished work three weeks earlier, laden with baked goods from the very lovely bread shop near her house. Fresh baked Friday had begun! Continue reading

Eating out with my baby

Is this MasterChef’s next judge? With all the posey stylings of a Matt Preston, the table manners of a George Calombaris and the appetite for sweets of a Gary Mehigan, I think Jarvis just might have what it takes.

In the last week, we’ve been out for breakfast twice. A record since Jarvis arrived. Breakfast is my favourite meal to have out. Especially now, with lunch often falling into the nap time gap and dinner having to be eaten early before the bedtime routine takes over and grumpiness descends. Continue reading

A week for doing

I am writing this from the promise of the weekend. Where plans can be made without weekday pressures, where oaths can be made to oneself that the next week will be the beginning of something new.

But today is Monday, a day where the promises we made to ourselves can so easily be thrown aside for a sneaky Kit Kat from the vending machine, when tiredness gives way to popping on the slippers instead of lacing up the runners.

Today, I go on the record to say ‘this week will be different’. It’s a phrase that has echoed in my mind for months, but resolve weakens as soon as I have to actually DO something about it. Continue reading

On pregnancy & innocence

Yesterday, I read this lovely piece on pregnancy by Lori over at Random Rantings of a Stay at Home Mum. By the end I was a bawling mess, on the couch in front of my laptop.

I had to comment. In my comment I referenced the above pregnant pic of me that hangs on Jarvis’s bedroom wall.

I love this photo, it was one of many taken by my talented friend Leonie Clark when I was about 34 weeks. A little over a year ago. For a while, when Jarvis was younger and I was struggling to make sense of his facial palsy diagnosis and trying to reach a point of acceptance, I would sit feeding him in a dim light on the sofa bed beneath this picture and I would cry. I would look up at this picture and wish I was still that innocent. That hopeful. That I could still hold him within me and protect him from what else the world might throw at him. Continue reading

My 'to don't' list

It’s official. I am laziness personified. I start out my first day of the non-working week with all the best of intentions, but inevitably Wednesday has become my ‘lazy day’. The more I procrastinate, the worse it gets. The ‘to do’ list lies abandoned and I start feeling guilty for not achieving the things that I set out to do. It’s a vicious circle!

So, in order to motivate myself and as a reminder that the day is not over yet, here is a list of things that I achieved today. Continue reading